Vegas, Part Deux

Yep, I'm back in Vegas. Yep, I'm WAY over my points. Yep, I've probably gained 10 pounds. Too bad but must get back on track ASAP. Not next week, not when things calm down - right now.

I have such a thick skull, I wonder when it will actually click with me that I am eating to live, not living to eat.

P.S. Carnegie Deli at Mirage is yummy. The steamed broccoli was great......so was the burger.

P.P.S. Grandpa died yesterday. I'm going to the funeral, I need the closure. Vegas to SLC then Oakland. Good thing I packed a dress, I'll probably still hit Target Saturday afternoon, I like excuses to go shopping.

Hiking the "Y"

Reacting to stress with food is my first instinct. Last night I had a bit of a binge with 16 points worth of ice cream and chips. But I counted points, journaled it and am within my allowances for the week. So I'm cool with it. I'm in a bit of a negative place emotionally right now - trying to reconcile that I may very well indeed not ever acheive my seceret life goal of being a wife and Mom.

Instead, I'm going to think about how cool I am. For example, I hiked the Y in 27 minutes! Holla. Freshman year in college, it took me an hour and a half. Take that, mountain. Plus, I kept waiting for it to get hard so I was conserving energy and not running. Well, no need, it stayed pretty easy. All that stair climber and hiking prepping for half-dome is paying off for my self-esteem. :-)

Why I heart BYU!

BYU is my alma mater and little did I know that you can get BYU ice cream! What a fantastic game day treat for those football parties! Too bad it's still like a zillion points per serving of real ice cream - but I'd burn it off in my enthusiastic cheering for a few hours.

Go Cougars! And go me for not living anywhere near where this flavor is sold! Ha! Temptation denied!

Weekend: Success

This weekend went really well. I said my good-byes, although I don't think it's really hit me that he's going to die in a few weeks. I learned an important lesson where food is concerned. I took control and offered to make lunch/dinner on Saturday and Sunday, leaving me able to plan and feed everyone what I wanted. This put my Mom as ease, as I know she's super stressed and hates cooking, allowed me to have control over what I ate and show off some newly acquired cooking skills.

We had Salmon with Lemon, Capers, and Rosemary with a hot broccoli pasta salad on Saturday for dinner and my very own Hamburger recipe grilled in the backyard with grilled corn on the cob, cold pasta salad and watermelon on Sunday. I got to enjoy the company of my grandpa, parents, sister, best friend and her husband and kids and didn't worry once about the food!

And you know what? It paid off at the scale. Down 1.6 today to 183.4. I'm not back to where I was a month ago (178) but this is a lifestyle change and I don't except losing weight to be easy. It paid off even more giving me a sense of accomplishment at being able to cope with real life.

Preparing for the weekend

I'm going to UT tomorrow for a few days. Normally not a big deal but this trip is to say good-bye to my Grandpa. He's going off of dialysis next week and will pass away sometime this month. I haven't thought much about this trip, mostly because I don't want to think about saying goodbye to one of my heroes. Part of life is death and I know he's excited to be out of pain and see my Grandma again. And honestly, I'm happy for him, and a little sad for me.

This trip poses a challenge for me. I want the good things, saying goodbye, seeing my family but I hate dealing with emotional situations when I can't control what food is around. My parents don't understand why every time I go home I hit the grocery store and spend $50 on food. And I think it hurts them a little - food equals love in my house. It did growing up and it still does. Living 1500 miles away from my family is certainly more selfish than most people realize.

I just need to remember that eating my emotions is not going to solve anything.

Half Dome was AMAZING

The months of running, rowing, hiking, stair climbing, eating right(ish) paid off. I made it to the top of half-dome! Hiking is such a personal experience for me. I love the time with myself to disconnect and reflect.

The day started dark and early around 4 a.m. After breaking camp and driving into Little Yosemite we got started on the trail around 6 am. Two granite staircases for what seemed like miles, endless switchbacks in the forest, eating salami (which I usually detest but was the best tasting thing ever!), seeing half-dome rise into the sky after having hiked for hours, self-doubt, self-talk and finally hauling myself up the cables, the view was worth it - the sense of accomplishment was even more worth it.

The continued success of this weight loss journey is going to be very mental. I need to stop thinking of myself as the slow, sluggish girl I was and start truly thinking of myself as the strong, active successful person I am.

And now I can say I've hiked Half Dome!

I survived half dome! Celebrating at the beach :-) Details on the dome tomorrow.