Stress

So I find I react to stress in two ways. 1. I eat everything in sight. 2. I forget to eat. Work has me SUPER SUPER stressed right now. I knew I'd have a month of stress, so for weeks one and most of two - I ate. Everything and anything. I felt so sick and not in control. 6 pounds later, I decided this had to stop.

On Wednesday, a switch went off and I went to mode two. I forget to eat and it's suddenly it's 5:30 pm and I've had waffles and some water. I am making an effort to control how I react to the stress. I am eating regularly and the right things. I am going to the gym (since by the time I get to working out it's dark!) for now. I want to hit the trails again, but am happy that I'm reacting in a healthy way. (And those 6 pounds are almost gone, that ended up being mostly water weight from *that* time of the month)

I'm going to break into the 170's soon. And when I do, present time. Must think of a present I want.

Listen to Nike

I need to listen to Nike and just do it - running that is. I have been slacking off in the diet and exercise department, especially the exercise department and I am feeling it today. I'm feeling fat and lazy and in awe of the girl I was a few weeks ago when I ran 15 miles one weekend. Part of the journey is struggling - right? I'm stressed and handling it in the tired and true manner I always have - eating and sleeping. That does not make for a good combo on the weight loss goals or feeling good about myself goals. So, one step at a time.

Today. Just today is all I need to concentrate on. Points I have eaten: 20. Points left: 5. Plans for dinner: Waffles to celebrate my roommate's b-day. Ok, new plans: Make the waffles for her and eat soup instead. To help me with me goals - Today I will go to the gorcery store and stock up on healthy foods to eat - the pantry has been empty for weeks, time to bite the bullet and make the time.

I'll get back on track, one thing at a time. I can do this.

LA LA LA LA

....connect the dots! I really should tell my sister this Web site address. I think she might be the only person to get that opener. Anywho, I'm feeling much better today. I weighed in (finally!) and was up 1. All things considered, that is a small victory. I had the yummiest peach at lunch today. Must get cash tomorrow and hit the farmers market, it all looked so good! This is the best time of year and I love the fruits that are in season.

Favorite fruits:
Peaches
Apricots
Strawberries

I heart summer!!!!

PMS: IHATECHU

I hate PMS because all I want to do is eat. I’m bitchy. I want to cry about past relationships. Sleeping is my number two priority, after eating, of course. But I feel small victories when I pass up the Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg in the kitchen at work and chew a piece of gum instead. It’s helpful when I realize I’m an emotional wreck because of hormones, not because I’m crazy. Arg.

The Weekend and Recommitting

Logged about 10 miles running/hiking this weekend and still expecting a gain tomorrow. I could not stop eating this past week! I need to get back on track with my journaling - eating, exercising, etc. I feel much more in control when I do. Ok, starting right now, I commit to journaling. And just to hold myself accountable, I'm going to go running tonight!!! I also want to work on visualization. I'm having a super hard time imagining the scale being under 180, so I'm trying to not turn this into a mental block and visualize myself losing 10 more pounds.

Recommitting myself to new goals. From now until September 1, 2007, I will:

• Work out 5-6 times per week
• Journal everyday - good and bad
• Run the 5K at the Marysville Peach Festival
• Complete Half-Dome at Yosemite
• Eat my fruits and veggies everyday
• Spend 5 minutes a day visualizing myself at goal weight, what that feels like, etc.

I CAN DO THIS!!! 170, here I come!

Muddy Buddy

Thanks to a friend on the WW board - I learned about a fun race my roommate and I are going to do in November. It's the Muddy Buddy Race in LA and basically you take turns biking and running, doing obstacles and getting dirty. I am so in! Going to register tonight for sure.

Content and Happy

I am content - truly happy with what I have in life. There are, of course, ways I still want to improve myself, things I want to do, but my life is pretty darned amazing. I don't know if I've ever been truly content before. I was reading my journal from a couple of years ago when I first moved to Cali. and one thing I wrote about was that I wasn't really comfortable with me - just me. I wasn't sure how to just be with myself. It was like reading the thoughts of a completely different person. I love being alone now - not in a sad way - in a truly comfortable with myself way. It's nice to worry what others think and use that energy on much worthier pursuits.

Fourth of July was fantastic. Loud fireworks on the beach with friends, a sunburn, a quick run in the morning, good food. I'm grateful to live in a country where I am free to live my life as I choose. Happy America!

Ramblings

Yesterday I tried a new trail with my roommate and we got completely off track. I love exploring new trails, but night was upon us, so we asked a jovial looking fellow where we might be in the park. Let's just say we were about 2 miles off. But this good samarian, Sal, actually hiked with us back to the car. Connecting with others in the community is something I love about hiking. Sal told us about some fun restaurants in the area to check out and we all had a good laugh about our navigation skills.

After the unexpectedly long hike, I was craving meat, so my roommate and I went to In and Out for a a protien style burger (no worries, I stayed within points.) One of my favorite things about losing weight is no one stares at you in restaurants when you eat a burger like there is no tomorrow. Or at restaurants when you eat in general.

I weigh-in today. After about 25 miles of running/hiking last week, I'm expecting a decent weigh-in. Instead of having pizza with the office for the Fourth, I'm going to go to Weight Watchers and eat the lunch I brought. I think I'm on a weight loss high.